When the Legal System Is Used as a Tool of Abuse
Understanding Power, Control, and Domestic Violence Cases in Tucson & Pima County
Abuse does not always look the way people expect it to look.
Many people think domestic violence only exists when there are visible injuries or obvious physical harm. But in reality, some of the most damaging abuse is psychological, coercive, and hidden — and one of the most dangerous forms of that abuse involves using the legal system itself as a weapon.
As a criminal defense attorney practicing in Tucson and throughout Pima County, I see this pattern more often than people realize. In certain toxic relationships, one partner learns how to leverage police, courts, probation, diversion programs, or protective orders to maintain power and control over the other. When that happens, the justice system — which is supposed to protect people — can become part of the abuse.
This article explains what that looks like, why it matters in domestic violence cases, and how courts and prosecutors can better distinguish accountability from manipulation.
Abuse Isn’t Always Physical — Sometimes It’s Legal
In unhealthy relationships, power and control don’t always show up as physical violence. They often show up as fear.
Fear of getting arrested.
Fear of going to jail.
Fear of violating probation or diversion.
Fear of “ruining your life” with one phone call.
When a partner repeatedly threatens to involve law enforcement or the courts to control the other person’s behavior, that is not accountability. That is coercive control.
This kind of abuse is especially effective because the threat feels real — and often is.
What “Legal Abuse” Looks Like in DV Cases
Legal abuse doesn’t require someone to lie to police or file a false report (although sometimes that happens). Much more often, it looks like repeated threats and intimidation, such as:
“I’ll call the cops if you don’t do what I want.”
“I’ll report you to probation.”
“I’ll make sure you go to jail.”
“You’ll lose everything if you don’t listen to me.”
“I’ll tell my victim advocate what you’re doing.”
What makes this especially dangerous is that the threatened behavior is often not criminal at all. It may involve things like:
What someone is wearing
Who they are spending time with
Whether they go out socially
Whether they respond quickly enough to texts
Whether they post on social media
None of those things are crimes. But when one partner has already been arrested or placed on diversion, probation, or pretrial supervision, the threat feels terrifying — because the system can respond harshly, even to misunderstandings.
This is how fear replaces consent.
Why This Dynamic Is So Powerful After an Arrest or Diversion
Once someone has been arrested for domestic violence — even in a misdemeanor case — the balance of power in the relationship can shift dramatically.
Suddenly, one person knows:
The other has something to lose
Police involvement is no longer hypothetical
The justice system is already watching
That knowledge can be weaponized.
Threats like “I’ll send you to jail” carry far more weight when someone has already been through the system once. Even if the threatened behavior is completely lawful, the fear of misunderstanding, misinterpretation, or retaliation can be paralyzing.
From a legal standpoint, this mirrors the power-and-control dynamics we see in many domestic violence cases — even when the person exerting control is labeled the “victim” in a police report.
We See This Pattern All the Time in Domestic Violence Cases
Anyone who works regularly in domestic violence cases — police officers, prosecutors, defense attorneys, judges — has seen some version of this dynamic.
There are cases where:
The person listed as the “victim” is also engaging in abusive behavior
The roles are far more complex than a single incident suggests
Both parties are locked in a toxic, mutually destructive relationship
Police reports capture moments.
Text messages, emails, and call logs capture patterns.
And patterns matter.
The law often requires someone to be labeled the victim and someone else to be labeled the defendant. But human relationships don’t always fit neatly into those boxes.
How Text Messages and Digital Evidence Change the Story
One of the most important developments in modern domestic violence cases is the role of digital evidence.
Police reports typically describe:
What happened during a short window of time
What officers observed upon arrival
Statements made in the heat of the moment
Digital communications, on the other hand, can show:
Ongoing threats
Repeated intimidation
Escalating demands
Manipulation and gaslighting
Power and control over weeks or months
Text messages often reveal a dynamic that is completely invisible in a single incident report. They can show who was exerting control, who was escalating conflict, and who was living in fear long before police ever got involved.
This is why context matters so much in domestic violence cases.
When Emotional Abuse Leads to Criminal Charges
Many domestic violence arrests do not begin with criminal intent.
They begin with:
Emotional provocation
Jealousy
Fear of abandonment
Trauma bonding
Mental health struggles
Alcohol or substance use layered on top of an already volatile situation
When someone is emotionally overwhelmed, especially in a toxic relationship, reactions can escalate quickly. Without context, the justice system may interpret that reaction as pure criminal behavior — when in reality it may be the culmination of long-term psychological harm.
That does not mean behavior should be excused. But it does mean the response should be proportional.
Accountability Is Not the Same as Punishment
One of the most common misconceptions I hear is that diversion or treatment-based outcomes mean someone is “getting away with it.”
That’s not true.
Diversion programs in Pima County often require:
Counseling
Domestic violence education
Substance abuse treatment or monitoring
Regular compliance check-ins
Community service
Strict conditions and deadlines
In many cases, diversion is more demanding than a conviction with fines and unsupervised probation. But it has a crucial advantage: it addresses the underlying issues that led to the arrest and reduces the likelihood of future incidents.
Punishment alone rarely fixes toxic relationship patterns. Education and treatment often do.
Why DV Counseling Can Help Survivors Too
Domestic violence counseling is not only for people who intentionally harm others.
Many individuals who have been subjected to abusive relationships benefit greatly from DV education because it helps them:
Recognize coercive control
Understand trauma bonding
Identify red flags earlier
Set healthier boundaries
Avoid repeating dangerous relationship patterns
Learning how abuse operates can be empowering — not shaming.
In fact, for young adults especially, DV counseling can be a critical turning point that prevents years of repeated harm.
Poor Relationship Choices Shouldn’t Become Lifelong Criminal Records
Young people — especially college students and young adults — often lack the experience to recognize manipulation early.
That doesn’t make them criminals.
A misdemeanor domestic violence conviction can:
Affect employment
Impact housing
Interfere with professional licensing
Create immigration consequences
Follow someone for life
When the underlying issue is a toxic relationship combined with mental health struggles or substance use, the system should aim to stabilize — not permanently derail — someone’s future.
What to Do If This Sounds Familiar
If you are in a relationship where your partner:
Constantly threatens to call police
Uses fear of arrest or jail to control you
Leverages probation, diversion, or court involvement against you
Monitors your behavior through intimidation
Those are serious red flags.
Practical steps include:
Preserve communications
Seek mental health support early
Avoid continued engagement in volatile situations
Speak with a criminal defense attorney before things escalate
Early legal advice can prevent charges later.
The Law Should Protect — Not Be Weaponized
The justice system exists to protect people from harm. It should not become another tool of abuse.
Domestic violence cases require nuance, context, and an understanding of power and control dynamics. When courts and prosecutors look beyond a single moment and examine patterns, they are better positioned to deliver outcomes that promote safety, accountability, and long-term stability.
If you or someone you care about is facing domestic violence charges in Tucson or Pima County, speaking with an experienced criminal defense attorney early can make all the difference.
Disclaimer:
This article discusses common patterns seen in domestic violence cases. Any examples are generalized and are not based on a specific client or case.
